SUCCULENT RAT-KILLING TAR

11 min read, 17 min listen

Officer Doug Eiffel, communications officer on board the U.S.S. Hephaestus Station, is willing to go to any lengths to procrastinate his work.

LITTLE REVOLUCIÓN

11 min read, 17 min listen

When Eiffel discovers that there’s only one tube of toothpaste remaining on board the Hephaestus, he decides that immediate action is necessary.

DISCOMFORTS, PAINS, AND IRREGULARITIES

11 min read, 16 min listen

The time arrives for another one of Dr. Hilbert’s infamous biannual physical and wellness checks, causing Eiffel and Minkowski to descend into a state of panic.

CATARACTS AND HURRICANOES

11 min read, 15 min listen

Eiffel takes a quick trip to the exterior of the Hephaestus in pursuit of a cleaner reading of one of the mysterious space transmissions.

CIGARETTE CANDY

13 min read, 19 min listen

A mysterious illness strikes Eiffel, quickly leaving him out of commission and bedridden.

SUPER ENERGY SAVER MODE

11 min read, 16 min listen

The Hephaestus Mission reaches its 500th day since launch, and Eiffel is determined to make the most of the occasion.

THE SOUND AND THE FURY

11 min read, 17 min listen

When Minkowski and Hera get into a fight, Eiffel decides to stay out of the way until the dust settles.

ARE SPACE SUITS ITCHY?

2 min read, 5 min listen

Eiffel takes time from his busy schedule to answer third graders' questions.

BOX 953

13 min read, 23 min listen

In accordance with protocol and the need to maintain crew morale, Minkowski insists on holding another of her infamous talent shows.

THE EMPTY MAN COMETH

11 min read, 20 min listen

As the Hephaestus begins a hazardous passage through an ion wind cluster, Eiffel is surprised to discover a message from the mission higher-ups waiting for him in the Communications Room.

EXTREME DANGER BUG

13 min read, 21 min listen

Eiffel decides that he wants to step up his game and play a more active role in documenting life on the Hephaestus.

AM I ALONE NOW?

16 min read, 24 min listen

In a set of short stories, we get to see what the Hephaestus crew does when they are by themselves.

DEEP BREATHS

11 min read, 19 min listen

It's Christmas Day on the Hephaestus.

GAS ME TWICE

11 min read, 19 min listen

The repercussions of the crew's discovery and Dr. Hilbert's actions continue to disrupt the station's Christmas plans.